Monday, January 26, 2009

color me beautiful

I fantasize about ways in which I apply make up. I thought that smoking cigarettes while I applied makeup was sexy or tough so I would do that and practice not getting smoke in my eye. I thought I was good at something by putting make up on in a car while someone drives not worrying about the jolts from sudden breaks. I would drive with my knees on the steering wheel while I put on mascara because I heard of someones mom doing it. I like to put on make up in a hurry in a stage mirror with lots of light bulbs around it. I like putting on make up with out a mirror and just sensing where my eyelashes are.
I don't like putting on make up in a room full of people who are putting on make up. It is a somber ritual at times. I will do it with one other person in the room, but no more or I feel like I'm giving away secrets.
I saw a video of myself putting on make up and I was so intent on the outcome of being made up and performing that I didn't notice the performance of putting on make up.

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