Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Baths I Want to Take Chapter One

1. Champagne-because I am alive
2. Milk with honey, like Cleopatra Queen of the Nile renowned for her beauty and luminescent skin, I also heard that it will draw all the parasites out of your body because they smell the milk and come out to feed
3. Mud- I did a mud bath once in Calistoga, actually two years ago tomorrow, I would like to do it again when I'm not having a nervous breakdown, anyhow, a huge not-white woman piled mud onto me starting with my lady's downstairs and then my breasts covering everything else and finally my face it was warm and sticky, and by sticky I mean wood
4. Avocado, like guacamole
5. Spaghetti-nearly got to dive into a tub of noodles wearing rollerskates at a party, but promised tub of noodles did not appear
6. calcium bentonite clay with apple cider vinegar and warm water-this stuff purports to draw heavy metals out of your body if you drink it, I regularly use this as a facial
7. Oatmeal- my mom made my sister and I oatmeal to do facials with when we were little it was a novel idea before I became aware of products based on this
8. Tapioca
9. wheat grass
10. Mahmoud Ahmed's voice